Welcome to my little corner, my niche, my humble tiny blog. I’d like to start by thanking you for stopping by. I do not have an official count, but I imagine there are millions of other blogs and millions more other websites. And still, you stopped here for a spell…well, thank you.
You could be watching American Idol, the latest HBO series or wiling the hours playing Wii or Playstation. Yet, you sat down and stopped here. That’s nice and may I say also, an honor.
The videostores are filled with decades of TV series on DVD. You don’t even need Cable or Satelite to find something good or even just mediocre to watch. You could watch episode after episode of your favorite TV show. You could, but you did not, did you?
When you sat down to read this, you probably ignored a sink full of dishes, garbage that needs to go out and a lawn that needs mowed, eh? Well, you could have at least washed the car or cleaned the wine glasses from last weekend’s dinner party. If not, you could trouble yourself to take your beer cans out to the recycling.
And those clothes, m’gawd, man! When are you going to realize the 90’s are over! Just because a Bush is in office, there’s a recession and a Clinton is running for President, doesn’t give you creative license to wear nothing but pastel polos and tan khaki’s.
As long as you are dressed to golf, you might as well get out there and play a few rounds. At least get out to the driving range. I mean really, REALLY! Your golf clubs aren’t collecting dust anymore because the rust occasionally shakes it off so it can breathe. And you call yourself a man…*PISH*
Why are you still reading this? Have you NO ambition? Is it my riveting prose? Hah! You have read better fiction in bathroom stalls. Yet, here you are reading and laughing like some imbecile. Next you’ll be showing your friends and then they…oh the humanity!!!
So, friend, it’s not that bad. You are a good guy. You wouldn’t read mindless blog nonsense just to procrastinate doing some chores or spending time with your wife or husband or whatever you’re doing these days. Would you?
Nah, you’re just taking a break, right? I mean, they pay you a paltry sum at work and the only perk you have is the unlimited internet access that the hacks splitting quarterly bonuses are inept at monitoring what you are doing.
That’s a good thing too, because after this, you are probably going to one of those job search sites. Hey, and why not? Print the resume on the old boss’ printer, that’s brilliant! Except the special paper I brought got stuck and now the loud mouth receptionist has made sucha production out of a simple paper jam, you are in the middle of ten people, all pulling open compartments and twisting knobs on the copier that you defensively yell, “Okay, let’s ALL have a look see, shall we?”
By this time your boss has now broken his attention from his Sudoku and has come over to see what the fracas is all about. He pushes his way to the copier and pulls out the paper with your resume printed on it. He looks at it, flattens the page so he can read it better. Everyone quiets. You are freaked, but you stand there, close your eyes and wait for the enivitable ass chewing folloed by a firing…
“Did this just come in?” He looks at the receptionist. She returns a dumbfounded look. You start to explain.
“I’ve been looking for somebody with these qualifications. I’m gonna hire him.” He heads back to his office. You stammer, unsure of what is going on….AND you’re still reading this, you moron!
But I appreciate that you did. So, thank you and tell a friend. The more people that visit the more I’ll write. And if you hate what I wrote, let me know that too.